The vast majority of priests are striving to be good shepherds and live a life toward holiness, and yet need the loving support of their parishioners.

Shortly after our parish hired a second youth minister a year ago there appeared on her back car bumper a red and white sticker which read: “We love our priest.” Every time I came to the parish offices and would see her car in the parking lot with its red sticker I would smile. At first I wondered what I did to motivate such a lovely proclamation. She, however, told me that it was not about me doing anything. These stickers were available at the Catholic college from which she graduated, given out as a source of encouragement toward parish priests during times of low morale and to counter the extreme cynicism found in certain media and comedy outlets across America. It also reminds the public that, as national surveys have shown, despite the national attention given to the abuse crisis, most Catholics find satisfaction in their faith and church at the local level, that is, in their parishes and their parish priests.

But I continue to smile when I see that sticker. Lovely, I think. When Pope Benedict came to America he at one point reminded people to “love your priests” (Mass at Nationals Stadium, April 17, 2008). This, I am sure, was to remind us that the vast majority of priests are striving to be good shepherds and live a life toward holiness, and yet need the loving support of their parishioners. However, the Holy Father reminded his fellow Bishops at his meeting with them (April 16, 2008) that today, more than ever, there is the challenge of forming a clergy who are solid in intellectual and human and spiritual qualities. In other words, love your priests, but keep the standards high.

“To my mind, much is demand of vocation directors and formators: candidates today, as much as ever, need to be given a sound intellectual and human formation which will enable them not only to respond to the real questions and needs of their contemporaries, but also to mature in their own conversion and to persevere in life-long commitment to their vocation. As Bishops, you are conscious of the sacrifice demanded when you are asked to release one of your finest priests for seminary work. I urge you to respond with generosity, for the good of the whole Church.”

How do we dwell on and encourage the vocation and strengths of our priests in an age of hypercritical reaction and cynicism? I think the first step is to look at our personal habits of praise and criticism with people in general. I am reminded of the role Ephesians 4:29f played in my life at one time in seminary formation and still does to this day. I was once given this Scripture to meditate on by my spiritual director after I had confessed numerous times the highly critical language and attitude I had toward my seminary professors and fellow seminarian classmates. It was a meditation which challenge me to change both habits of speaking and any personal negative attitudes.

Gradually over a two year period I found myself praising more the positive aspects or insights of professors and good qualities and accomplishments of classmates and criticizing less. It was a constant effort at conversion with the help of the grace of God and it still is today as I battle a natural human weakness in this area. Let us read that passage.

“No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.”

If any one of us, after personal examination of conscience, find that we have a general attitude of cynicism of all professional people, be they teachers, doctors, government leaders, or personnel of the church, then we know that there is some conversion demanded in a general way in order to encourage others more than tearing t hem down. If, however, we find that we bear a particular animus toward bishops or priests more than other professions we must then examine the source of this. Was there a hurt in our past life form which we stereotypically blame a whole class of people? Would we do the same with the local grocer or car dealer or doctor if we were hurt by some other such person in our past? We do not usually have a tendency to lump all doctors, car dealers, etc. as the same so why would we do such with the clergy? We usually switch doctors, insurance agents, or realtor if a particular one is offensive to us without instantly judging the next one we pick.

Maybe we are quick to be critical because of some moral problem we are quick to be critical because of some moral problem we are struggling with and those who uphold the moral teachings of the church in some way threaten our continued behavior or attitude over sinful choices. In any event, it is good to look at personal practices of critique and praise in order to grow to be more loving of our priests.

In my home diocese, like many in the country, we are doing a strategic study and meditation about our future priorities, reorganization, etc. Parishioners in one survey were asked to share their thoughts on two questions: 1) What would you estimate are the characteristics of a vibrant parish community? And 2? What do you think is needed in parish life to have healthy and happy priests who might better fulfill their priestly ministry?

The second question was partly designed by our bishop because he saw in the forth-coming answers to question #1, in the mixture of reflections about wanting good liturgies, youth programs, outreach to senior citizens, etc., that parishioners would answer saying a vibrant priests. Thus question #2 addressed t his one particular desire of parishioners in order to have them reflect on their role in giving parishes happy, healthy, and vibrant priests and pastors. This was a difficult transition for some people to make. They were so use to thinking that “the Bishop ought to ‘send’ us priests that meet our expectations” without reflecting on their part in producing or maintaining such priests.

Expectations are high these days for priests in parish settings. In some sense they should be, but such needs to be coupled with some understanding of the limits of human nature in any given priest. I recall a doctoral dissertation defense in Canon Law I attended at the Gregorian University in Rome in 1983. The candidate’s defense was over the topic of stability for pastors as set forth in the new code of canon law. While there was no longer the legal entity of the “irremovable pastor” some of the older canons had supported, he feared that in the new age of personnel boards and in the frequent moving and new assignments of pastors a basic presumption of stability of the pastoral office may be neglected.

His reflections seem prophetic today. Bishops face the closing and merging of parishes in their dioceses while starting new parishes in other sections of their dioceses. Many parishes become mission parishes of other pastors, etc. This seems to be inevitable in this age of ecclesial life in America.

However, there are also frequent moves because of complaints of parish8ioners over the dullness of their pastors or their inability to do magic with the parish school or youth programs or to entertain in the pulpit, etc. Expectations projected upon new pastors are high for them to be more and to do more than their predecessors. However, if pastorates were longer, I believe most people would eventually come to accept their pastors like a fellow family member, even as they accept and love their own grandfathers or uncles or in-laws with all their good points and human weaknesses. When a pastor has been with his families through the years and has buried their parents (or young tragic deaths), baptized their children and even later celebrate these children’s marriages, he truly does become a member of the family. Parishioner expectations gradually softened over the years to more love of the man who has cared for them and produces more acceptance (or at least understanding) of his weak performances in the pulpit or in other areas of his ministry. A parish receiving a new pastor can be compared to a new stepfather coming into the family. There is usually the reserve of family members about immediate acceptance and even a time of comparison (and judgment) to the original father (the previous pastor or ones preceding the new pastor who is still a fresh memory.

Timely events like graduations, weddings, funerals, home visitation, last rites, first communions and baptisms eventually and gradually produce the bonding effects necessary to accept the pastor as an extended member of the family.

Some years ago there was a study of the increase in vocations in the parishes and pastorates of those priests who were enjoying a second decade of pasturing in the same locale. I do not know if this would still be true today  but I suspect that there was some truth to the study because youth appreciate the priest who has journeyed with them throughout all their formation years as children, young teens, and into adulthood and is able to call them by name. they begin to think of the responsibility for themselves of carrying on the mission of such pastors when they no longer are in their midst. And some then respond to an invitation to check out the priesthood and seminary life.

All of this is to say that to “love your priests” means that besides a self analysis and personal conversion toward a positive attitude of encouragement, there needs to be the stable environment to really get to know that priest (or priests) as lovable and as a fellow human being journeying toward the kingdom of heaven and to allow that priest to get to know his parishioners individually or as a household.

Vocations and Prayer

The Catholic Magazine on Vocation Ministry

April - June 2008, #72 Vol. XVII No. 2